I've been slightly stressed out lately. And I think I know why. It has got to be my unfinished minutes. I've been attending and chairing a couple of meetings lately and most of the time, I get the unenviable job of taking down the minutes. I don't know why but somehow, I get appointed to be the secretary for the day. Perhaps it is due to a perception that lawyers are good with taking minutes. But hey, lawyers are not secretaries by nature.

And so, with minutes piling up and datelines looming, I just could not get the peace needed knowing that there are no pending jobs. But then again, these are God related work. It is not part of my vocational duty but part of work in God's kingdom. Do I say "no" the next time the Chairman suggest that I take down the minutes? Am I deem to be saying "no" to God? Especially when no one else seem to want to take up the work of noting the minutes?

I have prayed for a computer and now I have a computer at home. I told God that I needed a computer so that I can finish up all these work that needs word processing. Am I running away from God? It really is not easy to serve in God's kingdom. But then again, what makes God's kingdom different from the world? Are we to distinguish between God's kingdom and the world so much so that when we serve in God's kingdom, we are "nicer" and more "obliged" kind of person whereas when we are working out there in our vocational jobs, we can be less helpful, mean and cruel?

I don't want to be a hypocrite. I don't want to be a "nice" person whilst serving in Church and amongst God's people and be not so nice when I am at work. I don't want people to see me as a hypocrite. But it is not easy. The narrow path is difficult indeed. And it requires lots of searching.